Sometimes children challenge parents’ nerves — this is generally normal. But if some situations repeat themselves too often, parents should pay attention to them so that they don’t cause problems in the future. Experts also explain what features parents should look out for and worry about.
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How to know when you should interfere
The following features suggest that the problem won’t be resolved by itself:
- Your child’s behavior worries you for a month or more.
- You can’t control the situation.
- People around you suffer from your child’s behavior.
- Your child’s behavior changed suddenly without any apparent reason. For example, if a child suddenly becomes reserved and rude to their friends, it’s time to talk to them.
- Your child starts to experience trouble at school such as their grades getting worse, conflicts or fights occurring, or they’re skipping classes.
- Problems with sleep, hygiene, and eating occur.
There are also other features that you should pay attention to.
7. Inability to forgive
“Our dog didn’t want to play with our son as it was too hot and fell asleep.”
Children should know how to get out of a conflicting situation. Parents usually teach them to fight back but in most cases, it’s better to let all negative emotions go. If a child always tries to get revenge — this is a bad sign.
What to do?
Make sure your child understands what forgiveness is. Be a role model to them. Teach children to analyze their own feelings along with other people’s feelings so as to find out the cause of conflict. Explain to them how to get out of an unpleasant situation.
6. Irresponsibility
“In childhood, my older brother always shifted the blame onto me and said that kids who complained were sent to an orphan home. Once he said I dropped and broke the TV. But it happened when my parents were picking me up from the hospital. I was used to taking all the blame so I confirmed I did it. All in all, he was punished for everything.”
Now let’s imagine that it’s an adult that always shifts the blame onto colleagues at work.
What to do?
Teach a child to be responsible by slowly increasing the boundaries. Discuss problems and causes of bad behavior with them.
5. Excessive stubbornness
“She deliberately stuck them in her hair. It took 2 hours to remove all of them.”
It’s good if a person can defend their views if they’re able to compromise. Parents should help their kids develop this skill during childhood as it’s way more complicated to learn while being a teenager or adult.
What to do?
Understand your child’s feelings and find out the reason for their stubbornness. Teach them to understand their own and others’ feelings and motives. Let them know what they can do and what they shouldn’t do. Quit begging, arguing, bribing, blaming, and so on. Be calm and straightforward but don’t forget to compromise by saying things like, “You can eat candy after you finish your soup,” instead of, “No, this cake will kill your appetite.”
4. Manipulating
“I heard this kid getting there and yelling for his dad.”
Sometimes children manipulate their parents and relatives to get what they want. They start crying at the supermarket or use other methods. But they should know that they won’t build healthy relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and so on by behaving this way.
What to do?
You should distinguish whims from the things that really bother your child. Children often start manipulating when they don’t get enough attention from their parents. That’s why it’s important to spend enough time with them. Stay calm, don’t yell or threaten them — this may be difficult but it really is effective.
3. Fear of change
For toddlers, it’s better to follow the same rules and actions. But older children should get used to changes and learn to accept them. In the hectic modern world, excessive conservatism may cause serious problems. If a child goes to kindergarten but cries when the pencils are put in the wrong order in the box, you have to pay attention to this behavior.
What to do?
You always should tell children about changes and explain what’s going to happen. Control your emotions — children easily read body language and notice your anxiety. Find them company since kids cope better with challenges alongside friends than they do alone. Talk about their feelings so that they know they’re noticed. Be understanding and remember that minor problems and challenges are very difficult for children to take on.
2. Rash actions
“My friend’s kid did this to their pantry.”
Children’s spontaneity is cute if they don’t put a hot frying pan on a plastic tray or if they don’t jump into the mud in new white pants. Such kids speak and act without thinking about consequences, though their actions can be unpleasant for them and the people around them. In such cases, parents should teach their kids to estimate and predict the possible consequences of their behavior.
What to do?
Stay calm. Analyze your children’s actions with them and find out why they did this or that thing. Let them try to resolve the consequences of their behavior. Teach self-control to your children, set certain rules when they act impulsively and tell them that they’re doing great when they follow these rules.
1. The inability to entertain themselves appropriately
Russian child psychologist, Katerina Murashova conducted an experiment. She had 68 adolescents (12-18 years old) spend 8 hours all alone without friends or gadgets. Ony 3 teenagers managed to cope with this task while all the other participants felt really bad.
Babies can’t entertain themselves and it’s fine. But older children should learn to be self-sustained. If a child doesn’t develop this skill, they can’t concentrate on their own feelings because everything disturbs them. When such kids become adults, they’ll start panicking when something simple happens such as their phone dying.
What to do?
Talk to your child and spend time together. Allow them to use gadgets for a certain period of time. Teach them to find out what they like and what they don’t. Help them find hobbies that aren’t connected with phones and computers.
If you can’t cope with it on your own...
“My 10-year-old son suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder and collects this.”
Visit a psychologist. This means that you care about your family and relatives and you want to get an expert’s help. By the way, there are different causes for this destructive behavior in children. Remember that only doctors can diagnose mental issues accurately.
SOURCE : Brightside
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