Training for personal growth is a popular way of working on oneself for those who want to achieve success in life and become better. But research has shown that the effectiveness of such training is often exaggerated, and the results can even be dangerous for mental health. In order not to become a victim of scammers on their way to self-improvement, psychologists advise taking a critical attitude to everything the coaches say.
We at Psychology Today Articles with the help of Bright Side analyzed such courses and chose 10 main points that coaches impose on their listeners.
10. Visualize your dream.
The favorite advice of coaches is, “Imagine that you already have everything you aspire to.” This means that you should have a tremendous wish to reach your goal, always be thinking about it, and imagine the result in detail every hour. This approach turns dreams into an obsession. Instead of living in the present, the fans of these coaches leave their existing reality and dream about an idealized future.
Leave empty fantasies behind, and try to think about what you can do to reach your dream today. A small action will bring you closer to your dream much faster than even the strongest faith.And don’t put off your happiness. Notice all the good things you already have. Some lack even those things.
9. Stay happy every moment of your life.
Trainers of personal growth are confident that a successful person is always happy. That’s the reason why a festive atmosphere is often artificially created at training sessions, and the participants try to sustain it later in their everyday life.
In fact, happiness cannot and must not last constantly. Let yourself feel different emotions, and try not to suppress negative ones. Instead, try to accept and live them through with positive emotions if you don’t want to become a client of psychologists. And remember that we tend to get used to everything that we have and start to underestimate it — even pleasant and nice things — because that’s the way we are wired.
8. Set high goals.
“Set high and worthy goals so as not to be losers,” coaches say to us. And we, in turn, don’t want to be losers, so we set high goals such as having a 6-pack like an Olympic champion, the latest cell phone, or an apartment in the center of a capital city.
Set achievable goals. Ask yourself, “Do I really need it?” Will this luxurious apartment in another country make me happy? Or would it be better to stay in a small house near my relatives? All that happens because we often try to achieve goals to look successful and be liked by others, and it’s nothing to do with your personality.
7. Overcome obstacles through willpower.
Wise coaches say that any obstacles one faces should be broken by willpower. It doesn’t matter how much effort and power they spend to get rid of them. The main goal is to eliminate obstacles from their lives to prove to others and themselves that they are not losers.
6. Surround yourself only with successful people.
To become successful it is necessary to communicate with successful people that will pull you up by their example. That’s what coaches of personal growth advise, thus forming a consumer perspective on human relations.
People’s relations are built on common interests and mutual understanding. By spending time with people only because they are successful, you will get an illusion of communication. Among your close ones, there can be those who didn’t reach tremendous heights, but they will love and understand you like no one else can.
5. You were born to conquer the world.
The essence of almost every training of personal growth is to show a person how limitless their possibilities are. Coaches inspire people by saying that the whole world lies at their feet, encouraging them with examples of successful people. All that impresses greatly, and everyone starts to feel worthy of becoming one of the best and achieving universal recognition.
You don’t need to conquer this world — you need to make it better. And for that, you should start with yourself and your close ones. That’s the very thing that brings real satisfaction and fills life with meaning.4. Leave your comfort zone.
This phrase has become so popular that every other person says it to their peers with an important air. It is thought that success starts beyond the comfort zone. In other words, it starts in stressful and unusual situations. Of course, even if you’re in a strange city without a wallet or a cell phone, you will still try your best to sell that damn pen that is so hard to “sell” at interviews. However, this kind of motivation can hardly be called healthy.
3. Life should always be heading upward.
Many people, thanks to the advice of coaches, imagine their lives as a direct ascending line where the main achievements lie somewhere ahead. On one hand, it motivates them to develop more; on the other hand, it gives a biased and superficial picture.
If you are successful today, it doesn’t mean that the situation will stay the same tomorrow, and vice versa. Life is unpredictable, and the path of every person is unique. Moreover, every fall makes us stronger and wiser, while failures are sobering, especially after victories.
2. Think like a billionaire.
In order to become a really successful person, one should learn to think like a billionaire. That’s what coaches tell us — as if all billionaires think equally. In fact, it looks like imitation and the desire to live the life of another person.
Think the way you like. Every billionaire walked his own way, and every person has his personal secret of success that is different from other people’s secrets. Find your secret, and create it. Let yourself be yourself. Perhaps that’s the first piece of advice that a truly happy person will give.
1. You are the author of your life.
Coaches are sure that everything that happens in a person’s life depends on that person. It relates to their actions, thoughts, and even circumstances. Taking responsibility and looking for a reason in oneself is considered a strong person’s position; coaches try to humiliate any other point of view and call it the position of a victim.
Responsibility is a good feature of an adult person but within reasonable bounds. Sometimes circumstances evolve successfully, and sometimes they go against us. We are not their cause. It is important to remember that a few billion other people live with us on the planet, and they have their goals and interests that affect us and our lives.
Conclusion: Use critical thinking.
Remember that there is no universal recipe for happiness. Be skeptical of those who offer it to you because sometimes even coaches become victims of their own ideas.
Have you ever attended a personal growth training session? Please share your experience in the comments!
Source: Brightside.me
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